Humor from the one armed Mom

It has been exactly one week since I broke my wrist.  It has been difficult, painful, and humbling.  It has also been humorous!  I think Sister Hinckley had it exactly right when she said it is better to laugh than to cry.  I did cry once this week, but even that seems funny now....

Let's start with that!  On Wednesday, I received an email asking that I be at the state capital that afternoon to help present to the senate a bill I took part in writing.  As you all know I have been blessed with more than an abundant amount of hair on my head; You also probably know that 99% of the time, I don't know what to do with it - even with two hands it is hard to do.  With one hand, it is impossible! 

At 8:30 that morning I started making phone calls and sending texts trying to find someone to do my hair before the meeting.  By 11:00am, no one had called back.  I was getting worried and decided to call my visiting teacher.  It seemed like an odd request, but she did say to let her know if I needed help. 

She answered her phone and I asked if she would feel comfortable doing my hair.  I explained that I had a meeting and needed it done before 3:00.  I couldn't help it, she said she was out running errands and wouldn't be available until close to that time.  I burst into tears.  She continued on, asking exactly what I needed done because maybe she could fit it in.  I replied that it wasn't hard, I just needed gel in my hair and someone that could scrunch it and twist the curls, and I couldn't do it with one hand.
"Oh my goodness" she replied, "I forgot you broke your arm!"  " I'm really sorry I can't help you today, but maybe I can help another day."
And then she asked the funniest question I have ever heard -
"What else is hard to do with one hand that I could help you with?"
And again, I couldn't help it - I started laughing and responded , "What isn't hard?"

Which leads to the next part of this post....all the things I have taken for granted and never thought twice about being able to do.  So here it is, my categorized list about what is hard to do, awkward to do, and just plain impossible.  I am sure some of these things would not be as hard if I had broken my left arm instead. I am also sure many of these things will become easier as the swelling of my fingers on my right hand reduces, but in the meantime, I have encountered some pretty interesting situations! So, without further ado, here is my list.....read it and laugh!

Things that are hard to do

• typing is hard to do, but easier than texting
• it is hard to remember the mouse works on the left side of the keyboard as well as the right -
• it is hard to drive, try putting your key in the ignition and then starting the car using only your left hand.  I promise, it will be fun!
• sleep is uncomfortable at best - a possible contributor to easy flowing tears?  I think so!
• It is hard to buttons jeans
• Ever tried to fasten your bra with one hand?
• Ever put your makeup on with your non dominant hand?
• Try towel drying your back using only one hand
• Try putting on your socks using only one hand
• reading a book ... I didn't realize how often I used two hands to hold the book open
• cooking and cleaning are hard, but not impossible

Things that are awkward 

• Shaving your left armpitt with your left hand is awkward,  so are washing it and applying deodorant for that matter....
• Ever tried to use your left hand to squeeze shampoo into your left hand?  Keep in mind your right arm is in a cast and covered in a plastic bag to keep it dry.  Once you do manage to get shampoo in your hand, how are you supposed to right the bottle and close it without having the shampoo slide off your hand? 
• Brushing your teeth with your non dominant hand feels really weird...
•   Trying to open your car door with the same hand that is also holding your keys, purse, and a bag of groceries....

Things that are impossible

• Putting your  hair in a pony tail using only one hand is impossible
• Tying your shoes, or an apron...
• Flossing your teeth is not possible with only one hand - trust me, I tried!
• Opening a water bottle when the seal still needs to be broken is impossible with one hand
• Using the bow flex... I was sure I could still do my leg exercises, but I forgot I needed both of my hands to change the weights...
• The treadmill only becomes possible if someone is home to tie my shoes

If you have two working arms and hands - appreciate them!  Don't take for granted the little things they allow you to do!
Oh, and just in case you were wondering, I did find someone to do my hair.  She did a fabulous job!